Blood Moon Reflections From Inside Tesla’s Room 10/8 2014
by Hillary Raimo
How do I describe something so powerful. So humbling. So tangible on all dimensions. How do I put into words what happened that one night. What I saw and felt. This one moment stands out in all-time. As all time merged into one space. I heard his footsteps moving across the floor as the closet door opened slightly by itself, as if welcoming me. I could see the walls transform as time opened up all space at once, like fading layers of wall paper folding over worn edges revealing colors from each one. Prisms of light fractured through the window as the sea of sky tops flowed endlessly in each view. Held high up on the 33rd floor, thrones with names on them sat waiting for kings and queens to sit down and contemplate deeper.
I felt him. I felt his voice caress my being. I felt his eyes pierce my soul. Staring deep into the ends of my great oceans within. He knew everything about me, I could hide nothing from him – even if I wanted too. He saw each molecule of me floating freestyle closer to him with each thought. He knew how to travel through me. And he did. The worlds he had discovered reflected off his eyes like glass. His voice took on all dimensions and he spoke clearly with thought. I knew I was on fertile ground. I could feel him penetrate me in a way no one ever had before. Deeper still. Solitude, the kind that leaves one aching for more. Space given to be. True to who you are no matter what. That is the thickness of the veil we seek so anxiously to lift. Yet in doing so we forget what mattered in the moment because we see all of them spinning together in a format designed by something so intelligent we cannot even fathom the reality of it. Glimpses come at the right time yet still leave us wondering. Is this for real?
I held on to nothing. I let him have me raw. True to self in all ways. I held on to everything knowing the value of each moment. Taking my time I looked into his eyes and saw better without mine. Merged so completely it lifted the weight of all things physical. Telling the story of what we think is real, is not always. Yet in this we find a kind of truth that frees us to go even further. Beyond the etheric oceans, where even the memes cannot reach. To the empty of space filled with the condensed human soul. Pure form, rare in all its delicacy. Beyond that even more.
I saw the walls covered in weathered patterns, his windows letting more sunlight in. The furniture was rustic. Worn out from all his work. Yet still standing, supporting his currents of everything.
When we link with another human being we open a space that becomes a shared experience. One that holds the power of creation. We become a living meme. One neutrino crossing the entire universe at once, together. He understood this and was not afraid. He did not think anything of it, yet let his thoughts explore every inch of the quantum field the together created. He received the instructions for opening the human vortex this way. He caught the signal alive. Making it one of the most important human discoveries ever. His death did not stop his work. He continued on the other side. Opening the portals, creating the super memes, sending them deep into the etheric oceans to be spread out into all that is. He succeeded. HIM. The male potency. The male love. The male power. The male catalyst creational force that lives in all men. Every single one of them. I could see them as fractals of HIM spread out across our world.
Is this what I hear? The voice of HIM calling the divine feminine more towards herself. His force kneading the fabric of time and space to better wavelength it through to the masses of living things in all the universes. Perhaps. I was was unsure prior to my arrival. Yet as I sat there and experienced him full force I knew the answer. He had discovered the very existence of a connective quality between us, me and you, everyone. And learned how to use it. In his death he went consciously into this space completely. He knew exactly what he was doing. That confidence permeated my being, every cell, unified in acknowledgment. The kind of confirmation one prays for.
He discovered the ability to freely access this plane. To hold the door open for everyone. He knew this would make waves in his community. Especially when he went up against Edison, the King of his industry. The fall out was deep. He lost many friends. Loyalty proved its true course as each chose sides and put up a fence. He survived because his work was more important even then this. The drama of life meant nothing to him because he had found out a way to access something so profound, nothing else mattered.
It wasn’t just the tower. Or free energy. Or the ability to pull the plug on the power mongering hoarders who wanted to keep it all for themselves. Greedy guts only fill so far. He smiled as they all focused on the drama. What he found was the keys to heaven, without needing Peter. That might have pissed Peter off a bit.
I laid down on the bed and felt a relief of all things physical. As if shedding the skin of all snakes at once. Relief from everything that pulls on oneself. Gone are all cords of connection. Only to find everything is already one. Here in this state I fell into a beautiful dream. I landed softly on green grass. I looked around and saw him standing there. His eyes gleaming like beaded lights. He smiled and said, come. So I did. He showed me his room of inventions. By way of thought. Like voices bouncing off the walls I could see his thoughts as they made circumpolar designs of symbolic language. My mind opened like a vault and let them in. One by one they came and entered me completely. Like an expert lover.
The noises from the city floor sounded on as if millions of miles away. It didn’t matter because I felt it all at once. Being nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Not an elevation or a rising. Not even an expanding. Just an IS. Perhaps an AM. No I, yet an eye. As if I could see deeper into something inside of me and everything at once. This state of being had no name or title, no label or explanation. It simply was. Together we held the doorway open just a bit longer. Yet we had no sense of the long. There was no time to relate in. No past, no present, no future. Just all at once. No layers to break through, or understand. Just electrical pulse movements, recharged and discharged over and over, methodically, in order, chaos was accepted and understood as necessary. Nothing was bad or good. Just negative or positive. Energy itself is neutral. It is the spin we add to it with intentional influence that causes the observer effect. The quantum leaps were exponential. I had no resistance. I was completely opened. Wide enough for the whole universe to fill. I transcended love.
Transcended love. What does that mean. What words can our minds now try to use to explain that. So we can wrap around it and make sense of it within our reality illusions we cling so hard too. Sorry to disappoint you but it is impossible. What we label is no good in this zone. Here they are wiped out and discarded as unnecessary. It is like death in leaving all things behind, yet looking back when we cross over and seeing what we once knew transformed into energy electrical impulses connected to everything no matter what we do. There is no separation. Separation is an illusion. We are so completely and totally connected nothing stops it.
I sat in the deep soak bathtub. I poured oils and salts into it. I bathed as if I was Cleopatra. Royal soaked. I turned the hot on and let it burn away everything else. I submerged myself into this feeling of transcended love. I wanted to know it better. To explore it like a new lover. Every place I could find become nothing more then the next. Everything was equal bliss. I imagined the water crystals sharpening their forms. I heard the sound they made as they resonated with everything else around them. Including me. I realized I am never alone in any space. That is impossible. I interact with everything around me, even in an empty room.
Yet there is my intelligence that continues to learn. To understand. To compute. I was nothing, everything, empty, full. I was absorbing the shared experience as I observed and felt all at once. I bathed in this forever. When the water went down the drain I imagined it going throughout the building, down the 33 floors into the underground of the city. Connecting with more water, crystals communicating. I let this beautiful vision fill me and I felt the change.
I laid down under the full moon as it rose over the sky tops of buildings taller then us. The moon light filtered through the window and bathed my naked skin in its purity. As the reflection turned to blood, so did my skin. My moon flowed between my legs and fertility of spirit conceived a new vision.
Angels circled. Their powerful wings sounded like a million crows flapping at once. The wind from their efforts moved my inner fibers slightly with each thrust. Round and round they went until the circle opened in the sky. Upward went all those who could. The vision faded into molecules of magnetic ether. I watched the red turn full spectrum as I closed my eyes and faded into somewhere else.
I woke to the gentle sunbeam of new morning.
There was an intense pounding in the back of my neck at the base of my skull. As if every nerve was swollen. I went into the bathroom and the reflection staring back at me was strange in some ways. Pale and weak I took a wash cloth and wiped my face. It felt as if weeks had passed. I drew another bath and let the warmth of the water soothe me back into my body. The bright glare of the frosted glass illuminated the bathroom in just the right amount of white. I put a wash cloth on the back of my neck and let the heat soak in to calm. It did. Slightly disoriented I felt a destabilization take place. As if my core was off and gaining its center back. Vague flashes of scenes came to me, each producing a wave of dizzy through me.
I settled back into bed. I quieted my mind. I reached out and felt his hand. He smiled at me as if knowing what I was feeling. I closed my eyes and felt color, and saw feelings. What is this place, I thought to myself. He answered.
“It is where we all are.”