Circling a Vision for America Now

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I have been thinking a lot lately about this country and what it means to be a citizen of it. For a long time as a radio show host, writer, and researcher, I have seen and found my way into some pretty horrible truths about my country that make me as a citizen ashamed, disheartened, sad, depressed, and well quite frankly angry! Nine years ago I decided to start a radio show. Why? because I had to DO SOMETHING about what I was finding, seeing, reading, knowing. I needed to act. I had spent all kinds of time healing, learning, being a healer in the world through Reiki and other modalities, traveling, seeking, searching and finding. Along the way I realized that in the act of acting I was transmuting the emotional build-up within me from all the conspiracy shopping I was doing, truth I was finding, and that my psyche had been opened wide to the realities of the military industrial complex. I interviewed people in the places I wanted to see further into, and it was the next step for me. Going out into the world seeking information, and sharing it with others. This was about the same time when energy medicine and therapies such as Reiki were just beginning to really go mainstream. It was a movement. A renaissance of consciousness on a personal level and also a collective (because those do not separate).

So as I reflect on the headlines blasting fear in everyones faces, as I watch CNN and the nightly news dish it out in several courses, opting in to join the mutiny against Obama as the pendulum swings towards the MIC (Military Industrial Complex) wanting Obama out – thats how I see it, and because he is black you cant do that without popular opinion in your favor or you will have a race revolution in this country. It is a complex and deeply dimensional topic, filled with all kinds of branches into sub-topics and more. It is vast, consuming, and one can easily get lost in it.

I have recently decided that everyday I will go out into nature and seek out a new/or newly rediscovered place to explore, take pictures and get some fresh air. I feel like this country needs a big blast of fresh air. New ideas, new vision. But what is that vision? What do I want? Tough question when it comes to including everyone else who lives here. We have grown accustomed to being well cared for, so much so that we really do  not have to think for ourselves unless we really want too. I’ve been talking about reconnecting to the land since my grandmother died in August on social media and the like. As most of you know I work with the Quero Apache in New Mexico and have been for a long time now. We opened a sanctuary on 77 acres of land called Taa-naash-kaa-da to bring life back to the sacred lands of the Native Americans and to honor ourselves and to re-establish the love of co-creation, community, family, sharing and sustainable living. It also gives the elders of the local pueblos a place to teach, laugh, share and know that their lives are cared for, valued by all cultures and carried on in non-traditional ways as visitors come and go back to their corners of the world.

As a mother of two teenage boys I have seen the importance of teaching this to my own descendants as they grow through life, and how it has helped them to know that KNOWING is normal, and to trust their intuition, their visions and to proceed forward with peace, trust and hoping to better themselves internally as well as externally. How women ‘mother’ or nurture, or don’t is an insight into the wounds/healing/state of the planet. How fathers father – kids, ideas, acts of power, whatever they create – also gives an equal insight. The Shima’s I work with personally and co-creatively are Linda and Maria Yraceburu, both live on the land at Taa-naash-kaa-da and when I go visit whether it be for an event, a personal retreat, or just to say hello, they always have a smile on their face and they are never afraid to go into the deep stuff. I come here to work, whether it be on the land, on myself, or in groups. We give back, we create a vision, we remember. I have learned how to be a better family member by my interactions within this family. I take what I learn back home to my own family and apply the teachings, lessons, weaknesses learned, and seek to heal further.

I share this with you for a reason. Most Americans do not have this sense of community centering around the land and indigenous teachings. That’s ok, to a point. I’m not suggesting everyone has to pick up and learn to become an indian, that is not who you are necessarily. You have your own cultural genetic backgrounds. What I am suggesting is that you trace those roots of yours through America, know where you come from and start seeking out a ritual or ceremony of your choice to honor that, the land, the soil your feet stand on everyday. Land holds energy, resonations of tone from time passed, blood has been spilled here. Lives lost. Wars waged. The trees speak a language humans have mostly forgotten. The birds and animals remember. It is in our human DNA laying dormant as memories. Wake them up! When you do you will have to face the cobwebs, the shadows, the karma YOU have caused, and the karma that has been directed onto you by others. Personally and collectively (there is no separation of the two) it is courageous work.

Recently I have started a blog about the TV show American Horror Story on FX Wednesday nights called Initiation into the House of the Rising Sun I feel that America has become in many ways a horror story. The way we treat our children, women, men, elders, animals, land…. how we interact even in the slightest way online, in the ethers, on social media sites, by texts, phones, Instagram, snap chat, god the list goes on and on and on. People are gaining accessibility to each other in ways never known before, but call me old fashioned! but have they learned how to really COMMUNICATE? and what about nature? just what will be the repercussions to the super tech connectivity at all times to ones iPhone, laptop, Ipad,pod, and the like? We have yet to glimpse the whole vision of that vision. But it is just around the corner.

When my kids are overloaded by school, social issues, video games, ipads/pods/phones… I take them to the woods. I have several locations that serve this kind of dis-connect ideal for their young minds to reboot. And it works. Every time. I will be honest, we are all guilty of being out of balance with this aspect of our lives to some degree, and I have vowed to bring it back into my life. For myself and for my kids. This is how I am living my vision forward and integrating it into my personal life to ADD to the collective change of vision in America. It doesn’t have to be documented, photographed, written about or proven to anyone. Only I have to be accountable to myself.  Only I can do it in my own life. It is easy to sit behind a computer and say it, preach it, FB post it, tweet it…. but your body never moves. Your lungs don’t breathe the fleshly fallen snow or leaves, or smell the new earth in spring. Your eyes do not make contact with the sun and stars while in a room in front of a screen.

I talk to my clients about growing plants. When someone comes to me with stuff I will at some point ask them about their connection to EARTH, and if appropriate, have them do a sacred task by way of planting, gardening, even growing and nurturing a potted plant inside their home. The ones who follow thru with the task, and come back for a follow up session, describe their experience as enlightening. The relationship we have with growth, life, plants, EARTH is often the relationship we have with MOTHER. Does it nurture you? or hurt you? Are you one with Mother?

I made a friend over the Summer who taught me a precious gift. To seek a new vision. To reach out and find it everyday. I quit my office job (yes I worked a 9-5 to pay bills, and provide) this past August to care for my dying Grandmother in Maryland, in the grand scheme of things this was a very easy choice. It also gave me freedom. Freedom to roam, move, create, be, do, provide in more important ways, and to focus on my writing. It also made some people in my family very uncomfortable because I wasn’t bringing in the kind of money I used too. Fear and worry and concern replaced contentment for them as I woke up each day uncertain of what I would do, go, and it showed a very interesting reality that was not mine, and did not belong to me. So I faced it. Head on. And addressed it.

The vision of who I should be as a woman did not fit. I do not have to be a high performing, high achieving, high anything kind of woman. I saw quickly how leaving this position within my family structure came with a complete almost instant breakdown of worth for some. I was the ‘unemployed woman’. But I do work. I write, interact, create, keep my house cleaned, food made, beauty arranged, I decorate for holidays, create festivities, I pray, do ceremony, dream, consciously visualize the planet healing as I meditate, I write poems, words and weaving come thru. I make homemade goodies,. I love, eat and shit just like all the high-powered executives and  authority figures on the planet who make zillions. I am human just like you, and you and everyone else. No matter what my title, what I’m known for, and how I go about my day everyday. Most importantly I love. I love my family, my friends, my writings, ,my muses, I love the places I go and see and muse on. To me it’s the best paying job ever to dream & practice thinking visions alive.

Which gets to the point of this article by way of CIRCLING. What is your vision?

Right now, today. Our country faces a crossroads. America here and now – you and I – is crumbling. And it needs too. WAY to many people bitch and complain about America, Congress, Obama, whatever… Blame blame blame. Pointing fingers, accusing each other of wrong doing, way to much corruption, misplaced priorities, lost values, and the vision once planted here is dying. And it needs too. It was a house built on stolen land, by way of murder, disease, manipulation, disrespect, and dishonor. It was the bully down the street who decided to come in and take over your fort kind-of-thing. The relations to the land, ceremonies for the planet, love of creative and sustainable living, of each other, of healthy relationships with spirit, ruled by council of elders was bulldozed over by wealthy rich boys who wanted to create, build something of their own. They preached religious freedom, which may have been true to some degree, but why burn the women healers, why bring Satan? why kill the indigenous here practicing their own? Contradictions no longer hold up. Hypocrites cannot make the decisions or hold the vision anymore.

Dysfunction does not breed co-creation.

Borrowed vision does not belong to you.

You are a creator.

Will America heal?


What needs to go?

What needs to be made peace with?

What needs to come alive? be ignited? what needs to stand tall?

Each of us born here is responsible for dreaming a new vision. First on your own, then you share it, and get support from others.

Just because you are of german, italian, Scottish, french, etc descent does not mean you are free of the roots of this country which go WAY BEYOND the founding ‘fathers’ of this country. You are cutting yourself off from your heritage if you do not see that.

I am an American woman. Are you an American? are you proud to be one?

Unfortunately for most looking at these questions and statements will cause some discomfort. It will cause your defenses to rise, your reasons for why it is all the way it is, your indoctrination may stir, your brain-trained ideals will ripple. You may get sad, or angry or be indifferent. You may blame the illuminati or any of the conspiracy masters for cracking the whip. But still after it is all said and done you are left with you. When you lay in bed at night and the world is not watching you are still you.

What is YOUR vision of where you want this country to go? SAY IT. THINK IT. Then start aligning yourself, your household, and beyond with it.

So today while on my walk into the woods I came across this. I smiled and thought – THAT is a nice vision. A bridge from one side to the other and over the mucky muddy abyss. The picture is kind of fuzzy, you can’t read the words “ONE LOVE” on it to well in the picture. But that is perfectly symbolic . A vision may not always be clear. The formation of words in how to speak it uneasy to pronounce or even find. You must find the ONE LOVE within yourself to be able to fully walk it into life. How do we cross from one vision to another? It starts with you.



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