So I wrote Divine Blood Descending as my last blog post prior to this one. Yesterday on 5/22 – 22 the Universal cosmic heart – love empowered, I went to my mothers for dinner, as we prepared the food in the kitchen she mentioned casually to me that she had received a box of her Grandmothers journals. I just looked at her in awe. She asked me if we should open the box, I said YES! and so we did. My great grandmother, whom I have never met, long ago passed away. As I opened the box and took out each journal we realized there was YEARS documented in it. She had kept clear and diligent records of EVERY DAY each year writing one full page each day. I curled up with one of the older ones and randomly opened the book. Carefully written in pencil, in near-perfect cursive, I read her words.
Powerful TOOLS into the mind of the writer words are. Oh what to choose, which experience do you document, which phrase do you leave as permanent record of who you are for your descendants to see. I had pondered this just DAYS before this box sat in front of me. This happens all the time. Something enters my field of awareness and I see it or muse on it and within days it becomes real. It happens all the time, and most of the time I’m not even aware of it, it just happens synchronistically and I see it and track it from there. It’s as if I’m having a one on one conversation with synch itself. Inhaling, exhaling thoughts mixed with feelings, delicately whispering their sounds in forms of images or words, and then they happen. I cannot explain it. If I try to it stops being clear. If I rationalize it, the feelings disappear. It is like a fog of pure light that comes into a bay gently and fleetingly for a moment and the dream swims around, I see things or am called to something and I go, I absolutely cannot force it in anyway. If I try it slips off just out of reach. As it happens I have no thought of why its coming, what it might mean, I just see it and go into it and spirit guides me through. Then I express it and it happens, the vision comes true. But this is not the same as willfully manifesting, dreaming what I want and having it come to me. This is something else that has nothing to do with me, and it has completely captured my attention.
So just a few days prior, I saw the vision of my divinity within activating my blood and DNA and then passing that energy onto the next female born in my bloodline. Purposefully exploring the thought that if I imagine her now, if I meditate on illuminating my DNA which is her, then when she appears here in the physical world and manifests, she is then empowered by her ancestors, me. I am her ancestor. Just as my ancestors speak to me now. I spent a good amount of time imagining this, fully exploring the feeling of it. I could see the family lines, the pulling together of male and female – the love stories that would bring them together – the women who would be attracted to my sons to help bring the descendants into this world. I saw my linage grow. I saw the ever present synch flow powerfully through them each, I saw the conceptions, the timings, I saw the moon and the sun move into place. Then she was there. I could see her. I visualized all that I am in my totality infusing into her. I lucidly consciously willed my love and light into her. I could see myself flowing within her veins and I knew then at that moment my own immortality. I saw all of my visions, all of my prayers, all of my passion, love, emotional connections there, inside of her. I carefully selected only visions of pure love, moments in my life that have lifted me towards God, towards the light, moments that have held intense passion, complete connection and synchronistic twine. Genetic healing. I saw how to go into the future/my future, through my DNA.
Then this box arrives. Filled with my ancestor. Words, thoughts, prayers, stories from my Great Grandmother on my mothers side. My Grandfathers mother. I was connecting back thru the matriarchal line in my family through my own mother. A few days before I imagined the feeling of going forward. Now with these journals I’d experience the same thing only going backwards. Backwards through the genetic line, genetic memory, time travel to the past. So I began to read. Her immaculate recording keeping track of everything – the hours my great grandfather worked, what she made for dinner, what the weather was – in the box we discovered she had kept full journals of only the weather as well. What! I was stunned. In the box were three separate journals about the weather kept immaculately every day for the entire year. I thought back to my weather dancing post on the recent tornado here on my blog. This was getting weird even for me. But I held steady and kept going. There was an amazing thing here. I wrote about weather dancing and how emotions create the weather….and a few days later I find out my own great grandmother was a weather tracker! Was I connecting to her will of watching the weather in my musing on weather dancing earlier? Did she pass on that thought like I passed on my inner most love to my visioned great granddaughter just the other night? Perhaps she wasn’t doing it consciously back then, but NOW – here in this place in time – could I feel the pull? Perhaps I had just processed it artistically here in this space. As I connected with her words on her journal I moved in time. Kind of like in the Movie The Butterfly Effect – at least that is what comes to mind as I write this now. Reading the words on the journal page and changing where I am in time.
But if there is only the Now, then even the past and the future take place right here inside me. So as I have the feeling of moving in time and space, perhaps I am only moving through my Yin and each highlighted genetic memory living within my DNA made up of all I have been, all I am now, and all I will ever be lights up and shows me what is hidden there in each seed of thought and feeling. As I pull back and visualize it I see what looks like bubbles and in each bubble is a thought or memory coordinated in a beautiful synch pattern of dualistic resonating twine.
I looked at the journals and picked up each one and carefully opened it to a random page. I had found some of her school books with notes and lessons learned. There was no scribble on the edges like I had done when I was young, no boredom here, she was focused and diligent. I opened another book and this one was a locked diary – although the lock had long broken and the pages were falling out, this one was of her when she was a elementary or middle school age – ah true insight, we always lock away our most intimate thoughts under key believing at the moment no one will ever read the words. . It spoke of friendships and school crushes on boys and her inner conflict on love and why a certain boy acted like he liked her but yet then acted like he didn’t and her struggle with that which was obvious by her anger and uncertainty shared in words on her page and highlighted by emotional underlining of words meant to get her feelings across even if only to herself – and yet now me as well. Words I understood. As I entered her emotions I felt stronger, more alive. There was a bridged synch deep within my mind.
Through the Grandmothers we find our power. Our deep hidden feminine heart. In our descendants we pass it on. We here in the NOW are the dreamers of the future and the dreams of the past. January 1st 1951, she writes how she hopes people will find love this year and less sorrow. How if they would only let Gods love reach them they would know how powerful that love is. Here in her words I feel her love for life. I feel her effort to live.
I asked my mother if I could take one of the journals home so I could read it cover to cover, she said yes. I picked up year 1951. My mother looked at me and said that is the year I was born, look up my birthday. So I did. There on that page in my great grandmothers own handwriting she wrote about the birth of my mother, and everything she did that day to announce it. As my mother was born, so was I. With her birth I was one step closer to my own. There it was again that feeling of traveling down a line through time. As if on a cord. Umbilical? Sacred blood line.
So here I am with my great grandmothers journal on my altar and feeling the vision of my great granddaughter to come. Reading and connecting with my ancestors and also my descendants in the NOW through my bloodline. Consciously focusing energy on my DNA. If I can do it with two generations can I do it with more? how far back can I go? how far forward can I see? Validation was coming through my own personal experiences and my writings along with real life, real time happenings and events. There was no way this could be faked or even manipulated. How could I explain what was happening to me as my consciousness moved along this thought – out of body – like experience? It was as if I was remote viewing into the minds of those in my bloodline and moving around in them. Now as I reflect and write about it, I get flashes into where else this could go.
Every spark of life within our blood/DNA from all the branches of the tree in which we live – of who makes us who we are right now, every conception, every merger, every birth breeding deeper through time. Every attraction that led to creation was right here in the fingers tapping on the key board, and yet moving far far beyond. Like a river of energy flowing back into center. The center of the spiral. Family. Lineage. Everything you leave behind and bring with you. Each child born carrying it forward. All the love, the memories, the experiences, the emotions, the hurts and the pains, the cyclic attachments, biological biographies written in long hand and spoken in prayers – right here.
If we can all be traced back to the same mother DNA. Then doesn’t that mean I/we have access to all memories? Doesn’t that mean I am/we are the product of all visions and dreams collectively? Doesn’t that mean that every pain and joy any one of us have experienced lives within me/you? It would mean we are all the same, made up of all the same dust and genetic memories ultimately – with some sparks being stronger then others, some more dominate – yet all there regardless energetically. I am you, you are me. We reside inside each other and have a link through that shared spark. Fractals of each other. Yes.
As I read my great grandmothers words I moved into another perspective. Hers. I shifted inside myself to shape shift into her. Now what if at that exact moment she consciously thought of me and choose to pass on her power? What would happen to my interaction with her consciousness right at that very moment? Would I light up? So I began to practice that thought forward to the vision of my own granddaughter. I see her thinking of me, reading my words, looking into a picture of my eyes and I look back. I speak to her. I have the thought of pure love manifesting inside of her as powerfully as I can imagine it. I imagine at that very moment she connects back in time to me right now as I do this, and in this moment there is no difference between me and her, here and there, now and to come. It is all one. Imagine if we all did this and empowered all humanity this way. I wonder what would happen?