Rounding the Bend: 2012 Winding Up

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No matter what you believe will happen or not happen on 12/21/12 one thing is for sure……… is a grand moment in time.  We are being exposed to energy we have not been exposed to thus far in our lives simply by the placement of our solar system and planet in the grand scale of the cosmos. I remember years ago as I was knee deep in my teaching days wondering just what I would be doing this year and how I would be coordinating efforts for others as well. I imagined trips to sacred sites, events, walking people through experiences as I had so far. I imagined many things. None of which were on the Universe’s agenda.

I hit 2012 running. I had to face a lot of unhealed pain both physically and emotionally. I had taken my only trip in April to see Maria and Lynda Yraceburu in a private healing retreat that included an amazing journey to Ship Rock over my birthday. This set the tone for the remainder of the year….private healing. I ended my radio show after 6 years in Feb 2012 and went into a wonderful space of not having to produce & host 6 shows a month, which freed up a tremendous amount of energy which I would soon need. I felt free and yet sad about letting the show go, but I knew this was what I had to do. I ended up having a severe spinal injury that caused me to become almost completely disabled after I returned from New Mexico in April and I had to have major surgery in the spring to resolve it and spent months recovering….and recover I did, very well. I worked on some wonderful writing projects that seemed to scoop me up and bring me to a higher state of mind which is what I needed while recovering. A space to still do my work but not in such go-go kind of way as in years past. I welcomed it with open arms and heart.

My major lesson this year was to navigate pain. Physical pain, emotional pain and to come through it. It was a personal year and even though I planned on restarting the show in the Fall, intuitively everything kept saying no. NO this is not how you will ride out 2012. It will be a quiet ride. You will write, share your thoughts with small circles of people, watch the headlines and see how the world responds to the energies.That was the set of instructions I received from t he Universe. So I listened.

My good friend and mentor Barbara Hand Clow said to me privately …”we are in a time of no time. Can you feel it? Its like you try to go and do something and it just doesn’t have the same propelling energy behind it.” and I said YES this is exactly how I’ve been feeling. I’ve also been feeling OPENED UP. EXPOSED. VULNERABLE…and it felt wonderful. It could be equated I suppose as a kind of new love. A new kind of healing.

New energy is the grand theme of this grand moment in time.

As I reflect back on this year and what I have produced out into the world I am in love with it in many ways as it was fresh, new and of a different kind of ‘work’ for me. An intuitive view of the world as I watched events unfold on the world stage. I watched as many people commented on the dark and ugly things transpiring. Seeing nothing but the NWO, elite power control structures and never moving into a place of beauty and understanding so they could lift themselves out of the dark and murky muck it creates. It is one thing to see the connections, and it is another thing to get stuck there. One must be able to move beyond the darkness to look back and see it illuminated by the light on the other side. Yes there are bad people and things going on but why are you going to stay stuck on that? See it for what it is and move beyond.

This is YOUR moment in time. How you spend it will be determined ONLY BY YOU.

When was the last time you held sacred council with the Earth? With all the technology advancements available to humanity now, all the great gadgets that give us instant access to anything anywhere, our minds take a great trip to everywhere at once. But our bodies stay still. When was the last time you walked out in nature without your headphones, or your cell phone and just moved into that still place alone, unconnected yet reconnected to true time? May I suggest you plan some of that unplugged time between now and the 21st of December?

Who are you? and why are you here?
What is your purpose?

Everything you have experienced up until now is accumulating to this moment in time. Even if it is just to be fully present, fully aware, and fully yourself. The world around us is in flux because YOU are in flux. The world appears chaotic because on some level YOU are chaotic. The world is on the verge of war because on some level you are at war.

It is time to allow peace to dominate. It is time to allow love to dominate. It is time to make forgiveness a priority and to know our pain is also the pain of others. To see the mirrors and to be brave enough to see into them with eyes wide open. To honor and exchange your truth no matter how hard it is to speak. To let go of what no longer serves you and to know that your feet land on solid ground because there is solid ground to land on…this may not always be the case.  Be thankful that you have lived up until now. Reflect on the larger picture of your life. Look at who has been there this year and ask why.

Can the words “I love you” be as simple a greeting as “Hello”?

I have learned communion this year. To allow love to circle me so it can inspire me. Bring me to higher places of vision. I have allowed that closeness to form in non-traditional ways this year. I have allowed myself the unexpected to manifest in the ether. That is where all things begin the manifestation process…on the periphery of the human energy field. The place where all things connect to the greater picture. What better place to feel love. I have learned how to love in this place specifically this year. Deep love, the kind that has changed my world completely. I have found an understanding of this love that I have not known before. I have accepted it on all levels as is. No need to change it, mold it, birth it except withing my heart and with those in my life around me. I have learned how to bridge that love into any acts I do out in the world and I have learned what stops me from feeling this love, what blocks me, and why I have never allowed this to form or feel before. I have in many ways birthed a new heart thanks to my experiences this year.

We can be the most beautiful of species and we can be of the most horrific. We can create master pieces of beauty and we can destroy all remnants of love. We can allow love in, and we can kill it dead in its tracks. Why are we given such ability?

Look at your ability to do both and how that manifests in your life now. Which are you more comfortable with? How do you sabotage love in your life now? and why do you still need to do this?

Powerful times call for powerful questions. Requiring true and authentic answers even if only to yourself.

Karmic circles of grand design. Balancing the scales of light and dark to no longer need the same reflections. Imagine being done with the same lessons of old once and for all.

This year I have prayed for the return of Eden and the reunion of Adam and Eve. I have dreamed on their return the reuniting of the Divine Male & the Divine Female. The joining of male and female energies. The unification of that on all dimensions, all levels, and in all ways. The peace and creation that will bring remains a solid image in my minds eye and carefully held on the altar of my heart. Despite all the chances of destroying that vision, killing it, and letting it slip away into the murky waters of all that is opposite. I hold that vision still. My dreams reflect that vision. My choice of words and interactions try to hold that vision in honor. When I make a mistake I try to own it as soon as possible so it does the least amount of damage.

We all represent a core energy of male or female. Even in the simplistic nature of right brain vs left brain. What would happen if the brain merged? if the separation we are born with inside our heads no longer existed? Unity on all levels. Unity is peace.

So here we are rounding out the final days of the year. Are you hypnotized by the world news as it blares all kinds of uncertainty? I will only watch quietly now, and in a few more days I will not watch at all, only feel as I disconnect from the chaotic and return to the still point. Will you engage in the stress of the holidays so carefully placed at one of the most sacred times of the year? Will you stress the economy and lack of money and seeming abundance? or will you see through the distractions and pettiness that pulls on your consciousness on a regular basis.

It is time to become divine. To allow yourself the space to bridge forth your most holy vision of yourself in whatever way that means to you. This is no longer about whose God is right or real. They are all real. It is your purpose to embody that and live it forward. To see your own dark rift and go into it exploring your own shadow and what you do to add to the hate in the world. Own it and then integrate it into the light and move forward. Align with your own Galactic center now and for the next 28 days. Until the vision completes itself. Let love in intimately.

Every 30 Million years you are here. If you choose to not see this as an important moment in time, it will happen to you anyway. Who has been riding this 30 Million year wave with you this year? Why do you suppose they have? Have you bothered to ask yourself that?


2012 Copyright all rights reserved.


  1. Aloha, Hillary. Thank you for sharing, once again, your deep insights… This blog post about the 2012 Shift is very moving, and ‘right on the mark’ as to what is transpiring for all of us. Beautifully expressed!

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